Saturday, September 6, 2008

Walking on the Other Side of the Fence

I thought it would be a walk in the park. I help other parents through the transition to full-day school all the time at my job. But this time I was the parent and I was handing over my first born into the hands of strangers. He was a little apprehensive, as was I. But when we both breezed through the first day, I patted us on the back and thought, "We nailed it! We are in the clear!" I remember the stories of the weepy parents who watched as the kids left for their first day of kindergarten and actually wondered why I didn't feel that myself. Had my job made me cold to this particular experience????

The second day was much like the first. We left happily in the morning and proceeded through our days at school. I was a little frazzled because he also had soccer practice that evening and my husband was at work. But I chalked that up to getting used to the new schedule. I headed to his after-school program to pick him up. When I saw him waving at me, I almost cried. I was so happy to see him. Then it hit me, he was growing independent from me (and the rest of the family). And this was only the beginning of KINDERGARTEN! We had 13 years of this for him alone (never mind that we would have to do it all again with his younger sister). I was a little alarmed to learn that the teacher in charge of his group at after-school didn't know he needed an Epi-pen. For whatever reason, I didn't immediately flip out about this. I just figured it was a bump along the way. It I was going to survive this transition and set the tone for my son, I needed to be level-headed. And so it continued....

By Friday (the 4th day of school for him) I had gotten my first call from the school nurse. His eye had swollen up and he had stepped in what everyone kept calling "goo". We still have no idea what the goo was, and due to the nurse's limited English vocabulary, it took me a while to understand the connection between the goo on his foot and the swollen eye. My son told me the goo was "oobleck", the make-believe stuff that fell from the sky in one of Dr. Seuss's books. The nurse said that maybe it was gum, and then decided that it wasn't gum after all. Toxic waste, maybe? Cat puke? Could be! I just know that he allegedly rubbed whatever it was into his eye and it almost swelled shut. And the school nurse didn't give him Benedryl, even though I filled out a form saying to do so.

By the time I pick him up on that Friday, I was discouraged and emotional. I feel like I have set my son up to be looked after by people who aren't taking his medical needs seriously. And they are not even complicated issues. Just have his medicine ready, just in case he comes into contact with an allegen. I don't think I was expecting too much. I filled out a ream of paperwork on the kid to make sure everyone could treat whatever ails him without contacting me first. So treat him! Keep on top of things!

After a good night sleep I begin to see that I didn't escape the stress that parents feel when they send their children off to school. Not by a long shot! I am a teacher who deals with this on a professional level each day, But it is a whole different game when your child is the student. The anxious reaction to watching my son take his first steps into the "real world" weren't avoided. Just delayed a little. I'm hoping things smooth out considerably, but I guess we will have to wait and see. I count my blessings that I think his teacher is great. She is vigilant about keeping an eye on him and keeping him safe. In fact it was his teacher that noticed that his eye was swollen. I just remind myself that, just like I watch over my students and make sure their best interests are served, my son's teacher is doing the same thing for him (and me!).

My boy takes his first steps towards independence in the fall of 2003 at Mimi's house.

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